Schoolhouse Lock/Transcript
starts up showing a view of Galaxy Hills Elementary School constantly inflating and deflating Hank: camera Hooooolllld! Kids: camera Ummmmph! inflates Hank: camera Hooooolllld. Kids: camera Ohhhhhh! inflates again now show the classroom. The school is inflating because of the crowded kids holding up. They are holding Fanboy to the ground Hank: ''camera'' Hooooolllld! Kids: up briefly Ahhhhhh! Hank: Don't give him an inch! to the clock We still got ten seconds before summer vacation! Kids: again Yeow! Fanboy: struggling Must! Get! Out of school! Chum Chum: Please, sir! I beseech thee! Let him go! He went the whole year with average attendance, hasn't he suffered enough? He just wants to go to the carnival! to a carnival out the window, the kids notice it Kids: CARNIVAL?!? YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! leave Hank: Don't forget to turn in your textbooks! covered by falling textbooks the door opens and the kids run out Kids: YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! inside... Fanboy: pause FREEDOM!!!!! and Chum Chum start to leave, but are stopped Hank: Hold it right there! No one leaves without turning in their textbook. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Aww! Later... Chum Chum: Well, there's your desk. Fanboy: Oh boy. and Chum Chum put on hard hats Here we go. desk You see anything? Chum Chum: I see everything! Pencil stuffs, a sandwich crust, chewed erasers, a spit collection, ooh! There's that spelling test you got a D plus on. Fanboy: I thought I put that on the fridge. Chum Chum: You did! The fridge is on top of those rotten bananas. Fanboy: Ahh. Alright, Chum Chum! One of us is gonna have to dive face first into that murky, festering, pile of garbage, while the other stays here in school. Chum Chum: Buah, school? Not it! into the desk Fanboy: Huh? No fair, best 2 out of 3! into the desk passes. hours later at sunset... Fanboy: desk, textbook in hand Got it! fly out of the desk Fanboy: falls out of desk '' '''Chum Chum:' falls out of desk '' '''Fanboy:' Mr. Mufflin! I found the book! Mr. Mufflin? Chum Chum: Uhh, Fanboy? Is school always this empty during the day? overview of empty room Fanboy: gasp Everybody's gone! Do you know what this means? (Song: No Work And All Play) Chum Chum: No teachers! Fanboy: No homework! Chum Chum: No clothing! Fanboy: Too far! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Yay! We can chew bubblegum all day It could be no work and all play Run in the halls and talk, talk, talk Powder our faces with chalk, chalk, chalk Yiddie yodel, yiddie yodel, yippie yi yi yay We're all alone in school, hooray!! Chum Chum: Lookee here, I pass notes to you Fanboy: And I make a hat with paste and glue Fanboy and Chum Chum: Ride our bikes all through the school No one to say "Hey that's not cool" Yiddie yodel, yiddie yodel, yippie yi yi yay We're all alone in school, hooray! Fanboy: We're all alone there's no one in sight... Chum Chum: It's night and someone's turned off the light! Fanboy: I think I might be filled with...fright? And the door is locked and bolted tight! Fanboy and Chum Chum: WE'RE ALL ALONE IN SCHOOL!!! ''' '''Fanboy: door Locked! another door Locked! a third door Locked! Door, door, gotta find a door! door on blackboard and tries to open it, but to no avail Oh, I drew it locked! Chum Chum: a key picture on another blackboard And I just erased the key! Chum moans. Suddenly, his shadow shoots upward and turns into Janitor Poopatine Russ: Trapped in school, eh? Fanboy and Chum Chum: AHHHH! Fanboy: Oh, Janitor Poopatine. Chum Chum: slow motion Poop. Fanboy: Uhh! You have to help us, we're locked inside! Russ: Oh, not to worry, let me just get my keys. his sleeve and his keys roll out and head for a hole in the floor Russ, Fanboy and Chum Chum: Uh-oh! keys continue to circle the hole as the three quiver. The keys stop Russ, Fanboy and Chum Chum: Phew. keys fall into the hole Ahh! Russ: Not to worry, I have a spare set. sleeve, but those keys fall into the hole too And...there they go. Chum Chum: There's gotta be some other way to get out of here! Russ: Hmm, perhaps there is. the boys' restroom... Russ: A simple flush ought to take you boys to the septic tanker right outside the building. Fanboy: Thank you so much, Janitor Poopatine! Chum Chum: We'll never forget you! Russ: toilet Bon Voyage! Have a nice trip! Fanboy: So long! Chum Chum: See you next fall! Russ: Uh, don't drink the water! Montage! Fanboy and Chum Chum: cheering Fanboy: Vacation, here we come! Chum Chum laughing So long! Fanboy: Carnival! Chum Chum: Here we go! Fanboy: Oh, vacation, yeah! Chum Chum: I love it! Fanboy: Yeah! of montage at school... Russ: Nice boys, I hope they -- and notices that F&C are in the sink Oh, wha - ? Fanboy: Believe me, we are just as confused as we are. Chum Chum: Now, we're never gonna have a summer vacation! Russ: Doh, vacation? Is that all you want? Well, why didn't you say so? Russ's office... Russ: You have to promise not to tell anyone about my private getaway. I think you'll find my tropical island as fully vacational! Hmm hmm hmm, let me just turn up the sun... turns on the lights, but all there is are plastic clouds and a set of mops in a sandbox Russ: Hope you brought lots of sunscreen! Fanboy and Chum Chum: dejected Aww. Chum Chum: Umm, isn't that the sand you put down when the kids throw up? Russ: Don't be silly. out a sandball This sand has buried treasure! sand wears off revealing some sort of retainer Oh, this must be an old pirate's retainer! Chum Chum: whispers If he offers us clams, don't eat them. Russ: Okay, now gather round the fire! I found my ukulele! a broom Ne, Aloha Oe, Aloha Oe! singing, then exits Chum Chum: We're! Never! Gonna! Get! Out of! Here! and Fanboy faint to the ground time later, the boys wake up on the sandbox. They have strange beards on their faces Chum Chum: for breath Fanboy...how...long...have we been here? Fanboy: Ah! at watch Four whole minutes. Chum Chum: And...how long have we...had these beards? at beard Fanboy: at fake watch Three whole minutes. Chum Chum: I...can't...take...it! We're gonna miss...a whole summer vacation! crying Fanboy: Hey, Flappy! I think Chum Chum's starting to lose it! Head flap: Eh. Next thing you know, you'll be talking to imaginary friends. Fanboy: Ha ha, you're telling me. Good one, flaps. carnival music, Chum Chum stops crying Chum Chum, do you hear that? look up and see a red balloon. It floats away Fanboy and Chum Chum: A balloon! chase it into a cave Russ: in carring various toilet papers I've found some fresh coconuts! They're already cracked and shelled. Just stick in your straw! them going into the cave Wait! Where are you going? That's the Cave of Madness! Oh, wait. The Cave of Madness? That's over there. to another cave with ghosts flying out of it That's the Cave of Carnival-Related Delusions. Oh, I'm sure they will be all right. from a toilet paper and leaves in the cave, F&C follow the balloon to what they believe is a carnival Fanboy: gasp The carnival! It came to us! Chum Chum: Look how beautiful it is. to a wad of cobwebs Look! Cotton Candy! are taken into a carnival fantasy as they imagine the cobwebs as cotton candy. Lenny appears, with pink hair Fanboy: Hey! It's Lenny! gives them each a cone Thanks, Lenny! each make out their snacks and eat it, not knowing they're actually eating cobwebs Chum Chum: his cobweb and laughs. Bugs come out of his mouth Fanboy: his cobweb Delicious! Bugs come out of his mouth Look! A fun house! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Yay! head for what they believe is a funhouse F&C are being stretched on the mechanisms, but they're actually giant scorpions. They are then flinged away what F&C believe is a rollercoaster, they fall down a hill which is actually a lavafall. They hit the lava '' ''what F&C believe is a dunk tank. Fanboy is the dummy, while Chum Chum is the player. He throws a rock which hits the "target" and the rock holding Fanboy breaks, making him fall into the hole below him Fanboy: Yeah! Chum Chum: Do I get a prize? Later... Chum Chum: Come on, Mr. Fluffykins, it's time to go into the Tunnel of Love. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Mmmm! enter the tunnel. Smooches are heard. Then, F&C come out. They have kiss marks on their heads as they laugh, then realize what happened Fanboy: Wait a second. You're not my pillow. Chum Chum: And you're not my favorite bath toy, Captain Squeakybottom. Fanboy: Uhh, Chum Chum, I'm beginning to think that this isn't really a carnival. Chum Chum: Oh, come on! If this isn't a carnival, then how did I win this stuffed... up a real female bear Fanboy and Chum Chum: BEAR!!! AHHHHHH!!! through cave Fanboy: It's hopeless, Chum Chum. I'm afraid there's just no light at the end of this tunnel. Chum Chum: Yeah, there's only that one! to a light On the ceiling! Fanboy: What? the light A door to outside! Come on! Chum Chum, if my pillow were the jealous type, I'd kiss you. jump up and reach the light and Chum Chum come out of a desk and realize they're at the beach Fanboy: We made it, Chum Chum! Oh, I've never been so excited for Summer in my whole life! Hank: camera Well, I hope you're as excited for Summer School. zooms out to reveal F&C are back in the classroom, in front of a beach backdrop reading "Welcome to Summer School" Fanboy and Chum Chum: Summer School?!? Awwww! Hank: That's where you go when you fail everything -- to hear F&C drop back into the desk Hey, where'd they go? in the cave, Fanboy and Chum Chum are once again, being stretched by scorpions Fanboy: Well, it may not be pleasant, but it'd sure beat Summer School! bear growls off-camera Chum Chum: Relax! You'll get your turn. Category:Transcripts